台北市大安區溫州街89號
02 2369 5333
SUPERB MERRIMENT QUIZ EDITION
Do not linger here.
You fool, it is too late; he already knows your name.
Welcome friends, to another enchanting episode of "Right Along Taipei", Taiwan's third favurite (sic) English-language nonsensical food blog. As a means of thanking all three of our readers, we have included a special quiz in this review. Please don't forget to leave your answers in the comments, where somebody, some day, may give a shit.
Do not look behind you.
Our heroes' brief visit to a dilapidated insect electrophysiology lab ended in horror as a chance encounter with a micropipette puller triggered Duncan's repressed memories of his postgraduate career. Maddened with grief, Duncan retreated into the woods, pursued by Avalon and a team of experienced trackers. Only two people left the wood that night. They decided to go have pizza.
Q1: How do you spell entomology?
A: Etymology
B: Brian
See: Ee…en…tee…em…AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH, MY APPENDIX
The
D: Yes, please
Keep the lights on.
Avalon ordered the restaurant's signature pizza, while Duncan ordered a smoked salmon pizza. The consensus was that Maryjane's thin crust pizzas are delightful (the smoked salmon, in particular), but that the more traditional style served up at Zoca is preferable (albeit more expensive). Moreover, Duncan was left feeling hungry later (this was after finding himself stuck on a stationary bus in Nangang for twenty minutes as a flood wall was slowly moved across the street, but before he got home and realis/zed he no longer had his keys).
Q2: How many light bulbs does it take to change
Duncan?
1. Just one, if it loves him
enough.
2. None: he’s perfect just the way
he is.
C. Two: one to cast light upon his sins, and one
to lighten the path to redemption, HALLELUJAH
5. Just one, if thrown with sufficient
force.
Don't fall asleep.
The staff is/are1 polite and friendly, and very committed to their menu puns and Dad jokes. Inspired by their example, Duncan has tried his hand at the venerable institution that is the 'yo mama' joke.2
Q3: Yo mama...
(壹) ...so fat that, when she went swimming, she
was claimed as part of the inalienable territory of Vietnam, Taiwan, the Philippines,
AND China?
(貳) ...so ugly that both the PRC and ROC deny
they’re China when she tries to initiate “diplomatic” relations?
(參)...so stupid she thought the Cultural
Revolution was a particularly refined Ferris wheel?
(肆) ...so old that Beijing claims she has been
part of China since “ancient times”?
It's time to tot up your scores! For each "A" answer, gain 12 points. For each "B" answer, gain -3 points. For each "C" answer, lose π points. For each "D" answer, lose -∞ points.
Negative infinity to zero: Stalker much?
Zero to 107,438: You are usually content to remain in the background, but sometimes have an urge to be the centre/er of attention. Your favrite (sic) things in life include crushing your enemies, seeing them driven before you, and spending a warm summer's afternoon enjoying a picnic with your loved ones.
107,438 - <∞: Threesome?
AWKWARDNESS: ✦✦✧
Given a two just for the menu descriptions.
SNUGGLINESS: ✦✦✧
A smidgen too noisy - Avalon had to be re-calibrated twice.
DISRUPTIVITY: ✦✦✧
Duncan wasn't even aware that chocolate pizzas existed. He sometimes hears sounds from outside the basement, but covers his ears until they stop.
PRETEN$ION: ✦✦✧
The prices are more than reasonable. Reasonestble.
THE fLaVO(u)Rz: ✦✦✧
Value for money [SEE ABOVE], but we definitely preferred Zoca. And our OCD compels us to give at least one restaurant a two for "taste". Forgive us, we know not what we do.
1. A small concession to our British readers and their loyalty to plural verb agreement.
2. Duncan would like to emphasis/ze that he loves all your mamas, and hopes to see them again soon.
