台北市大安區敦化南路一段233巷58號
02 2775 4117
The Formosan Black Bear: smarter than your average panda.
I have actually lost my mind.
The restaurant has a classy, inviting interior sure to make a favo(u)rable impression on your first Tinder date. Duncan was pleased, but he once cried upon seeing a particularly beautiful leaf.
Avalon ordered avocado toast with smoked salmon, while Duncan's heart was set on a chicken waffle sandwich he once saw in a dream. Fritters were ordered as a cheeky starter.
Tables were robust and aesthetically pleasing.
Fork shown for scale.
The waiter kindly informed Avalon and Duncan of a few dishes and beverages unavailable for purchase. This was a cruel diversion designed to lead our heroes into a false sense of security. And so it came to pass that when Duncan innocently inquired about the fruit juices du jour, he was rebuffed, for THERE WAS NO JUICE THAT DAY. 哭哭. Instead, he was coerced into ordering a special "fruit tea", which was pleasantly tangy with subtle undertones of bubblegum.
Can you find the pigeon hidden in this photograph?
Duncan's left index finger; fritters shown for scale.
The fritters were filled with cheese, and topped with cheese, and middled with fritter. All was well.
Avalon permitted Duncan to take
photos of the food with his hilariously awful HTC phone, purchased out
of a sense of loyalty to the Republic of Taiwan™ and all of its subsidiary
companies. The waiter watched with a sense of unease, concerned that
Duncan in his irreverent attitude may be incapable of fully capturing the aesthetic
majesties of the chef's labo(u)rs. Taking matters into his own hands, quite literally, the waiter rearranged Duncan's chicken waffle sandwich
to better expose its waffley charms.
His hard work truly paid off.
("So juicy.")
Duncan's sandwich was everything he had dreamt/dreamed of, and more. Duncan's dreams are full-colo(u)r and include sensations such as smell and taste. Sometimes they are erotic in nature. Sometimes they involve meeting political figures. As of yet, there has been no overlap. The sandwich pleased Duncan.
If it's wrong to be aroused by a sandwich, I don't want to be (W)right.
Duncan could have done without the subdued lighting in the lavatory2; when he looks in the mirror, he wants to see the truth, not some flattering fiction. He is not Narcissus! He does not seek merely to have his rugged good looks reflected back at him3. He just wants to know if there is waffle in his beard, so that he may remove it if necessary, unless the rest of the table is into that sort of thing.
Eye candy.
Brains of the operation, cryogenically frozen.
AWKWARDNESS: ✦✦✦
Waiting staff probably a little too attentive? Possibly bored...? Duncan didn't appreciate the unsolicited photography advice.
SNUGGLINESS: ✦✦✧
Duncan enjoyed the ambience and (generally) unobtrusive nature of the waiting staff and other guests, but deducts a point because Avalon was slowly freezing to death.
Waiting staff probably a little too attentive? Possibly bored...? Duncan didn't appreciate the unsolicited photography advice.
SNUGGLINESS: ✦✦✧
Duncan enjoyed the ambience and (generally) unobtrusive nature of the waiting staff and other guests, but deducts a point because Avalon was slowly freezing to death.
DISRUPTIVITY: ✦✦✧
Artfully-presented dishes, which Duncan's photos possibly hint at? If you squint? Menu full of creative and intriguing items, and you may even get to order some of them! (Duncan remains bitter that the fruit juice of the day was "order a different type of beverage.")
PRETEN$$$ION: ✦✦✦
Prices were pretty steep, and while it was generally marvelous, there was a sense that the staff knew it, and were flaunting it. See also: photography advice.
THE fLaVO(u)Rz: ✦✦✦
It was the best chicken waffle sandwich Duncan had ever encountered, praise not even slightly diminished by it also being the first.
1. By sleeping inside its adorable carcass as if it were a Tauntaun and we Leonardo DiCaprio (as depicted in the recent motion picture hit, "Shutter Island").
2. The absence of a bath puts the lie to it being a ‘bathroom’, Avalon.4
3. This is just a bonus.
4. fuk u m8
2. The absence of a bath puts the lie to it being a ‘bathroom’, Avalon.4
3. This is just a bonus.
4. fuk u m8
